Turkey Trouble

Turkey Trouble

Recently, I was given the task of seeing that the turkey didn’t walk in the freshly poured cement for the new sidewalk in front of the church.  After all, you may have heard that turkeys are notoriously challenged intellectually, not having the sense to come in out of the rain, and the like. (Many people were relieved when Ben Franklin’s suggestion that the turkey become our national bird, was declined.) To protect the cement, it was suggested that I assign sentry duty to the sidewalk until the cement cured. A complete cure could take up to two days! Out of respect for the members of the congregation and their comfort, I haven’t been calling for volunteers…yet, anyway.

Instead, I sought other avenues for protecting the wet cement. Option #1: Relocation. Perhaps there was a way to introduce the turkey to the gang at the cemetery or the gang at Mira Vista Golf Course. That would be safe, humane, and also a relief to people who have been afraid to get out of their cars.  Lindsey Wildlife rescue referred me to the Department of Fish and Wildlife. The answer, “No, we don’t relocate. We want Nature to take its course. Relocating can spread disease and create all kinds of other problems for the animals. You’ll need to hire a trapper. And a trapper will have to euthanize it.”  

I was startled. He went on, “You know the turkeys are in ‘strut’, their mating season. If it’s a male, he’s likely to get aggressive, or maybe he’ll just leave to look for a mate. “

Going through the list of local trappers, I found some who only dealt with gophers and moles, others, racoons and other animals, but not turkeys. Finally, I reached a fellow out in Danville.  “Good thing you got me, I’m the only one around who deals with turkeys. I’ve got all the gear, tent nets, and all. How many turkeys you got?” 

“One,” I replied.

“Oh, heck that’s a different matter. I can do that easy. Hunting season opens on the 27th and I’ll take care of getting the permit from the police department. I’ll just use an air gun. I can do it for $250 if it’s there when I arrive.” 

“Hmm, I’ll have to think about that. There are children on the property, you should know.”

“Not to worry, I’ll come on a Saturday, early, when no one’s around.”

My head spun with visions of a big guy climbing out of his truck on a Saturday morning in Kensington with an air gun. “I’ll get back to you right away if we decide to do it,” I chirped, and hung up.

Quickly, I shifted to Option #2, blocking off the sidewalk area combined with a person or two who will keep an eye out - maybe the first few hours.  Hope the guy with the gun isn’t too disappointed I didn’t call back.  

Linda Young